I hate

Found recently that I hate myself mush worse than I hate someone or something. I hate my weakness, my no will power. I used to say that I hate everyone and everything, but the only creature I hate is myself. Can’t take this anymore. Sometimes seems like suicide is the best way of ending this fucking existence. Every action of mine makes me feel worse every single fucking day! It is eating my insides and do not give an opportunity to wake myself fucking up. I remember the time when I was younger and could struggle for my dreams and aims even if I had failures. But now every failure makes me hate myself! By repeating it all day I understand that I’m losing myself and have no direction to move in.